my ears pick up the sounds,
my brain forms the story,
and my heart feels the pain.


then again, one's my brother, the other's my mom.
such grey areas, who am i to say who is right and who is not?
my opinions were never once taken in since young anyway.
any unpleasantries to my mom's ears were always silenced by the canes, leather belts or water pipes and recently, her mouth.



sometimes i really wish i could fastforward time and step into the society to slog my life out for a home i call my own.
the one im living in now, it's more like a place i go back to for the bed to sleep in.



oh, i forgot to mention the other category of people that i dislike in my previous entry.
#4 empty promisors aka people who make empty promises.
yes. i fucking hate those.
they raise my hopes and give me the illusion that a listening ear and/or a helping hand is there for me but at the end of the day, i realised that i'm actually in this all alone, just like how i started out in the beginning.

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i really looked forward to today.

i painted pictures and rehearsed them in my head, smiling to myself as i did so.

then you told me you had to be home early.

i thought you would change your mind.

i thought, like me, you realised that it had been 124834908q30948q934 years since we've got a full day to ourselves.

then i realised, pictures are merely pictures.

so are memories.

yes, you told me you had to leave early.

but could i say no?

did i have a choice?