give, and take.

it may be just three words- give, and take.
but it involves a hell lot of things.


sometimes realisation hits out of the blue and DING!, that little bulb lights up those dark corners in your head.
but sometimes realisation takes time, experiences, reflections and determination, and often, the decision(s) that follows cant be explained in one breath.


my relationship with my mom is no secret.
it is no secret either that what she wants me to be (read: stay home, obedient mommy's girl) is exactly opposite of who i am (read: outgoing, opinated girl).
when you put the two together, it's no surprise that sparks ALWAYS fly between me and her.


over the years, ive spoken to quite a few people about my situation for various reasons; to simply find listening ears, to find a solution and end it all, etc.
of these, some voices were comforting, some were jarring.
the comforting ones told me that i was not the one who was heading in the wrong direction, and that i deserved my share of freedom.
but it was the jarring ones who presented me with the solution.
intererstingly, all these jarring solutions came from people who are older and wiser (read: lecturers and counsellor) , with the exception of thomas' .


now, dont get me wrong here.
i appreciate all of your input all the same. (:


as muhsy as this may sound,
love does strange things to you.
as early as 2005, i already had the solution to mend the relationship between me and my mom.
but me being me, i couldnt swallow it.
but now, i found the reason to do so.


to all my friends out there,
im gonna have to lie low for quite some time.
my apologies in advance if i cant join you all for the gatherings and such, though i would love to.
sometimes, i may even have to cancel on you.
and i seek your kind understanding on this.
thank you.



given my character, it's not gonna be an easy path having to work towards gaining my mom's trust.
but there are some things in life which you aint entitled to choose, and your parents are one of the few.



give, and then to take.
i guess ive finally realised.
and grown.


wish me luck people!