just weeks ago, my mom labelled me as the nemisis of the family.
right.
everything's my fault, im the troublemaker huh.



ur son shouts at me and string together words about how his computer is spoilt and all the arrows are fired at me.
you, the mother, started scolding me about touching my bro's computer, casuing him to lose his precious data.


WHAT THE HELL DID U DO TO MY COMPUTER?
my dear bro, i would love to ask u that too.
what the hell CAN I DO when ur computer doesnt have a mouse?
it's not like it's a laptop which has a touchpad.
i can't do ANYTHING without a mouse, which coincidentally was what u unplugged from the computer youself to use it with the laptop u took away from me.


and yet, im the one who's being blamed for spoiling it.
then, hey presto! u conveniently discovered a wire was loose.
aha! so u went back to ur computer happily.
no apologies, no nothing of that sort being said to the little sister that u've accused right on the spot when u couldnt operate your computer.


then now the fonts of your computer changed.
and you start bellowing at me again when u cant fix the problem.
mother hears and started scolding me for spoiling your computer again.
FUCK. it's not even spoilt, it just had bigger fonts.


you ask me what did i do.
i said i dunno.
and so u gave me the ever-blaming tone saying, "you always dont know anything."
FUCK.
who are the ones (since my primary school days) who told my mother to keep me off from their computers in case i mess up their data.
who are the ones who refuse to guide me along or teach me ANYTHING about computers, saying that i wont know even if you tell me?
who are the ones with IT diplomas?
who IS the one who tells me he dunno what's wrong with my wireless when it was as easy as clicking on a OK button?
so tell me, who are the one whos caused my ignorane in IT?
who is the one who took my vaio without asking and when i used it again it couldnt even be on?
who is the one spoiling whose things?



oh right, i could pick up a book and explore on my own right.
then again, how could i explore when i dont even have the chance to apply what ive learned hands on?
i'm not allowed near the computer remember?



ask your friends la!
HA! dont even talk about that.
it's either
1)my friends are unfortunately, IT idiots like me or,
2)so called friends care more bout what they learn from others inside of guiding you along.



dont get me started on point 2 again.
i dont want to go into yet another argument over "why ppl do this to you" vs "why will ppl do this to me".
but in case anyone misses out my stand, i repeat the last time.
no one is perfect, we've all got our own flaws.
my stubborn character, attitude, my commitments, IT ignorance, inability to contribute to the proj etc may be the reasons you guys walked out on us.
of cos u guys had ur reasons and perspectives but i have mine too.
and that would be i value quality friendship over that damn piece of paper, still.



and apart from computetrs, i seem to have a hand in stirring trouble at home too.
like how i took 10 more mins to dress myself up and the whole neighbourhood got to know about it cos you were hurling mouthful of words as i walked next to you.


care to know how i found out?
my best friend teased me about how long i took to dress on the very next day i saw her.
apparently word spread from the mouths of gossip mongers who were present and were staring at you when u were hurling those words at me.
and mom, you know what's the most ironic thing?
it's gotta be how you're ALWAYS the latest at every function and even scolds dad when he rushes u to go earlier.
you'd always retort by reprimanding him why he is so uptight about the whole thing and why do we need to be there early when the thing will start later than the stated time anyway.



sometimes people dont just become who they are and what they are today.
if you really treasure him, understand why he has become who he is and guide him along should he need it.
that's what i define as friends; they accept you for who u are and guide you along the way to make u a better person.



note: if this post happens to turn you off, then you can always X this off.