if you can't freaking be a good role model,
then shut up and stop threatening you'd slap me with your shoe just because i am pointing out your mistakes to you, mom.

face it. all humans err.
moms are no exception.
so stop giving that "i'm-your-mom" + i'll slap/whack you with a leather belt or pipe if you yak further attitude.
it didn't work when i was in p5 and i assure you it wont work again.
and oh, if you dont mind, stop bringing up that incident where that bitchy sister of urs smashed her daughter's glasses when she was disciplining her.
if you really want to comnpare violence and it's effectiveness, i think mr policeman would be gald to be of help.


oh, just one more thing, if you really think you're the only one i talk back to cos im a coward, think again.



i lost one of my pet tortises three-four years back, thanks to you.
then we had to let the other go.
two lives, lost because of you.


now it's a pair of brand new $140 asics; your asics which you wanted me to wear so that it'd be seaonsed for you.


you never listen.
you never learn.
and all you do is slander me in front of those bitches.




soemone save me from this hell.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


lynette asked me to take care and not slog the shit outta myself. (those werent her words, i re-phrased it.)
it's hell having to juggle tuition, beading biz, telemarketing, hockey and school really.
dont ask me how i actually manage.
maybe for a more accurate explanation, look at my attendance for classes.
i slog till i'm no longer sane sometimes.
i'd love to take a break too but let me tell u a story.
(it's a little boring. do bear with it.)


when i was doing my sem 2 in year 1,
i was really tied up with hockey.
it was the game season and i was the team's captain.
the team had a lot of probs and i literally coulnd't breathe at times.
i had no choice but to drop work. ie. my only source of allowance.
so i had to revert back to taking allowance from my mom.
then during the sem break in the early part of the year, me and my parents
went over to shanghai to look for my eldest bro.

we stayed in his apartment and while i was changing after my shower one day, my bro came in w/o kncoking. (unintenional)
i screamed and he apologised.
not that i did not want to lock the door, it couldnt be locked. there was a thick fat wire in the way and it couldnt be removed.
then a min later, my mom did the SAME thing while i was STILL changing.
obviously i was super pissed and i scolded her off for being rude.

her reply: "stop throwing your weight around and giving me that damn attitude of yours. i dont even have to depend on you for household income. you even have to TAKE MONEY FROM ME. Besides, im your mom and im a lady as well bla bla bla. "




sometimes people dont just love to tire themselves out for no apparent reason.
i noe i..
(a)said things like gaining exposure and experience, chiong while my body can still take it
(b)appear to be shopping and buying things every now and then



let me tell you, (a) is crap. it's just my way of conditioning myself not to give up. i dont wanna fall into deeper levels of hell again.
and (b) is a way that i've chose to mask my insecurities.