life lately.
people say, "money is important, but it's not everything."
i couldn't agree more in the past.
i still do agree with the above assertion but with reservations now.
imagine being unable to fork out an extra 10 cents for a packet of milo and having to put on your sweetest smile at the aunty who sells drinks and pretends to be paiseh about it.
or/and
imagine having insufficent funds to top your ez-link with your bank account and having to resort to purchasing a single trip ticket but ends up being 40 cents short after spilling out your entire fortune.
then you'd know why i am having reservations about the above assertion now.
i used to be a girl who spends at ease.
but now, i realised i'm just not quite the same anymore.
finaces woes are weighing me down and i've become less chatty, less cheery and more reserved.
The flu and cough that i'm having now certainly doesn't help to brighten things up either.
i used to go on food sprees and attack the chocolates and ice cream stores/sections whenever i was feeling down.
but now, i can only look and sulk and feel even worse. :(
just 30 hours ago, i coughed till i teared. :(
but no matter how tough things are now, i'd still grit my teeth and do it.
cos nothing beats being certain of what you want in life and pursuing it.
and i'm glad that at least i have a nice working environment.
so, all i need now is some time for me to settle down and get use to this life where i juggle between working my ass off to support myself and pursuing my direction in life and controlling my finances.. and i'll start to smile again. =)
determination, one of the valuable off-books lessons which i've learnt (from) and discovered (about myself) in pj hockey.
and there's another side to the mental drain of money matters too.
friends.
i just miss the girls so much and yet when we finally suggest to have a get together, i'll light up and dim the next moment.
xx : hey let's get together and go kbox /shop / eat etc.
me : YES!!
xx : ok see you on bla bla.
me : YAYS! -smiles all over- but a minute later, shit, i have no money, how to meet them (and do whichever of the above activities) ?
money.. it's just so tiring.
on a brighter note, i had a fab day yesterday with dearie. =D
and am i blessed to have him supporting my decisions and providing for me to the best of his ability.. though he's pretty much in the same situation as i am.
and i guess our dating expenses which he is stubbornly paying fully for ( movies and meals ) is robbing him of his own fund to get the things that he wanted.
i hardly see him buying stuffs for himself now. =(
so i decided to be nice and pamper him with a nike shirt yesterday. :D
and damn, i'm broke and deprieved of shopping now! :(
but it's worth it. :D
honestly, i wouldn't have been able to tide over all these without him.
i'm truely grateful for the times when he was with me when the tears just couldn't stop rolling.
nothing warms your heart and mends your broken soul more to knowing and having someone there for you when you need him.
ms silly soccerball needs her darling compass to know where she's rolling. :D
no clue?
check out my msn display picture and ask suanhwee how lost i got by myself when i was supposed to meet her at bugis.
then you'd know what the above statement means. :)
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