having loads of thoughts running in my head now.it's gonna be a long entry.


i've always found pj's assembly talks interesting.
today's no exception.
it was on family and/or relationships.
the communication field of both elements.


each individual differ from the other when they show their love and affection for others. but they are generally classified into 5 areas.
a) words of affirmation
b) physical touch
c) quality time
d) acts of services or kindness
e) gifts
yups. those are the 5 love languages.
it's pretty interesting.
like how some ppl would feel more loved when showered with gifts instead of being showered with quality time from their other half.
that's just an example of cos.
each and everyone of us is unique in their way of thinking and characters i guess.

there was also the talk on how diff individuals react when faced with a prob.
a) a turtle [ withdraws ]
b) shark [ attacks ]
c) teedy bear [ just absorbs everything ]
d) fox [compromising ]
e) owl [ confronts ]

sadly, i'm too much of a shark.
straightforwrd/stubborn/bad tempered.
so is my mom.
that explains our quarrels and tensed up r/s.

there were also talks on how we should communicate with our parents so that they will listen to us and we will listen to them. that was the main focus of the talk today actually.
the more i listen, the more i looked up at the ceiling.
but attempts to hide the welling tears still failed.
i didnt break down ,
i didnt break into tears.
but i teared.
a single droplet dropped silently.
not that anyone knew anyway.

there was also this part where what parents wld like to hear from the mouths of their teenagers and vice versa.
and how " if ur parents doesnt love u the way u want them to doesnt mean that they dont love you " --> which explains the 5 love languaues.
and how if we were in our parents' shoes how much we wld like what is being done by us to them.


i know my mom loves me.
i know it.
deep deep deep down.
but.
sigh.
i've thought of how hurt i wld be if i was her and how i've hurt my mom each time i shout at how/talk back etc etc to her.
yes.
i can put myself in her shoes.
but.
i cant..
i cant stand the way she loves me.

ct time has been painful today too.
mrs chan was talking bout communication btwn family members.
she pointed out that coupled with exam stress, one is just gg to break down if such family communcation probs are not resolved.
was looking at the ceiling and everywhere except in her direction.
for fear that my eyes wld betray me.


met up with zihao after school.
walked. walked orchard.
talked. talked bout certain stuffs. lols.
watched fantastic four. not bad.
ate. mos burger/milk tea/nachos/ orange julis blizzard.all were paid by zihao dearie except for my mos burger meal.wahahahahahas.
zihao, doesnt the word dearie sound familiar? you IDIOT!
suan suan suan me the whole day.
bahs!
hahahahas.
got 'beaten up' by me quite a number of times.
hmmms.
thanks for helping me with my super heavy books [ chem txt borrowed from lib for a last attempt to save my chem + maths stats booklet] today k.
helping me carrying them all the time.
though i know u always say it's ok. that it's not heavy..
but i noe to a certain extent you are lying.
hahaha.
and my hockey stick too.
at times.
cos of ur " bu yao chong huai ni" policy!
hahahas.
damn.
i think everyone is thinking we are an item already.
LOL.


was thinkin when walking home.
the future still remains as bleak as ever to me.
BUT.
i gonna fight on.
i've come this far,
fought this long.
i'm not gonna give up just like that.
no way am i going to.
i choose this path myself.
the jc path.
so i have to face up and bear its consequences.
yes.
i complain.
i whine.
but.
at the end of the day..
i'm still gonna fight.
i'm strong.
i can do it.

another random thought popped in at this pt of time.
yes.
i am strong.
but no one is infalliable.
i do need a helping hand,
a hug,
or a shoulder to lean on at times too.
yups.
physical touch works on me at times too.
lols.

hmmms.
ever since i've joined hockey.
it sort of changed me.
it taught me how to fight.
and boy,i had to.
against ppl
against my own mentality.
whenever i do pt,
whenever i'm trg on the track,
each and every moment i just want to raise the white flag and surrender.
it's tough.
considering the fact that i'm not much of a runner.
and that i used to hate running.
so i've been battling with my own mentality each time i ran.

when there's a will there's a way.
i soon grew to like running.
cos it gives me a newfound sense of achievement and independance somehow.
it's me and myself when i am running on the track.
there's no one to push me,
no one for me to rely on anymore.

so i would agree, to a extent, if ppl tell me that sports ppl are stronger mentally.

making the decison to enter pj was tough.
threading alone on this "no-idea-where-is-the-destination" path is even tougher.
but the toughest would certainly be to .. thread on it alone and troubled.
but i'll survive.
and pull thru beautifully.
I WILL I WILL.
hopefully

oh zihao, on a side note.
scropios are mysterious creatures in nature.
it's hard to understand them totally. =p
but then again.
each and everyone of us,
no matter how much we trust anyone.
there's still certain secrets which one would like to keep.

[editted]
netball was nice today.
our team won =D
hahahas.
i'm the centre, again.
somehow i always take up the position of centre.
maybe cos i am forgetful.
and like to run everywhere.
it was a nice game.
great teamwork btwn the guys and gals.
guys get ball for us.
girls shoot.
wooo~
almost everyone got involved and enjoyed the game.
wasnt really tired out.
cos hockey is much more tiring.


hmmms. there's always been sth which i wished to do but din have the time to.
volunteer work.
at the end of the yr or after a's i guess.=D